The Dump, The Worm and The Nutcase
by musicinmotion
Summary: Enter the highly sarcastic mind of Kai as he is plunged into a new phase of his life, in which he must contend with Nutter Relatives, Crazy Chinese Neighbours, and enough Teenage Drama to make you sick. R&R.
1. Saying Goodbye and Airports

**A/N: **Welcome, all! I am immensely excited to present to you, this, my baby, the love-child of my imagination and wicked humour: The Dump, The Worm and The Nutcase, starring Kai as the focal point of many a hilarious situation. Ok, whilst the first chapter might be a tad bit dreary and grey, once you get past it, many a chapter oozing with delicious sarcasm are sure to follow. Yum. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Beyblade.

* * *

Ch. 1 – Saying Goodbye and Airports

The train slowly pulls into the station and its doors squeak open. The night air is cool and the commuters are reluctant to step out. Nonetheless, warm houses and hot meals await them at their respective homes, so they leave the train, motivated by this thought. Among the small throng of chilled people are a mother and her son carrying grocery bags.

'Hey, mum?' asks the teenage boy, frowning slightly. 'Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?'

His mother gives a tiny smile and shakes her head in amusement at her son's never-ending curiosity and bottomless supply of peculiar questions. 'I'm not sure, Kai.'

Not deterred, he continues, 'Hey, ma, can you sentence a homeless person to house arrest?'

Kai's mother readjusts the bags in her hand and is about to make a witty reply when a strange, pained expression distorts her features and her body becomes taut.

Kai steps towards her. 'Mum, what's wrong?'

Unable to answer, she drops to her knees and the grocery bags fall to the floor, fruit and vegetables spilling forth and rolling away, unnoticed. Crying out she clutches her chest, her breathing is laboured and her eyes panic stricken. Kai drops his bags and runs to his mother. He grabs her shoulders and shakes. Her body falls limp in his arms and he, while not knowing quite what to do, lays her on the ground as she moans arduously.

'Someone call an ambulance!' shouts Kai to the motionless bystanders. He sits on the ground cradling his mother's head in his lap in the middle of the station, tears running down his cheeks only to fall in his mother's soft, slate hair.

'Mum,' he sobs, 'Say something…'

The mother looks up at her son with round, sorry eyes, and though she's too stricken to speak, Kai already knows but can't accept what she's trying to convey to him: _Goodbye. _

She has stopped breathing.

Blue and red suddenly splash across her pale face: the lights from the ambulance. Two paramedics rush forward and push Kai out of the way to attempt CPR and get his mother breathing again.

Kai watches in shocked silence as they pump his mother's chest and blow into her mouth again and again. Her body remains listless, unresponsive, dead… It seems like hours before they finally stop trying and let his mother rest.

Kai doesn't notice the horrified onlookers or the despondent wails. He sees only his mother, lying there on her back, her eyes locked on the austere station ceiling. Slowly, he crawls forward and reaches out to brush her cheek. It is cold and she doesn't respond. He quickly draws his hand back and stares at her. This can't be…

Terrified, Kai draws his knees up to his chest and gently rocks back and forth. Too many thoughts assault him; all he can do is look at his mother, dead. No, he thought, she can't be dead.

Again he reaches out, this time for her hand, which doesn't grasp his. With his other hand he sweeps his palm across her face, closing her eyes and taking the words she never spoke from her lips.

Hands grasp his shoulders and pull him back, away from her. Always pulling him back, drawing him further from his mother. Through blurred eyes he watches as they bring a body bag over, and a strange thought occurs to him, and he would've shared it with his mother, but she was the source of his query.

He voices his curious thought in a whisper, to no one. 'Do they reuse body bags? Or do they throw them away and get new ones? The people using them wouldn't care anyway.'

* * *

Kai sat on a bench outside the courtroom waiting for his lawyer to return. The funeral had been simple enough, many people came, friends of his mother's, no family. He had worn a black suit and the dark red tie his mother had bought for him a few weeks before she'd died. People cried a lot, but he knew his mother wouldn't have wanted all that grieving. She was a very happy person, always wearing bright, cheery colours and constantly flashing smiles. But it was hard to be anything but sombre on such an occasion.

Kai's mother had died of a massive heart attack; strange, the pathologist had said, for one so young and healthy. Then again, the family did have a history of heart disease, failure, and problems in general. Kai wished that it had skipped a generation.

It hadn't.

Being seventeen, and still technically a minor, the issue of Kai's custody came up, and his lawyer was currently assessing Kai's options in the courtroom. Kai's father had died barely months before he was born, and as far as he knew, he had only two other living relatives, his grandfather Voltaire and his aunty Georgina who lived under the same roof in Boston. It was either them or foster parents. Some of his friends had foster parents; their tales were less than pleasant. So it looked as though he'd have to take his chances with his relatives. In his past experiences, his grandfather and his aunty were quite uptight and cold, but that didn't concern him; he could live with them just fine as long as they kept to themselves.

Eventually the courtroom doors opened and a small collection of important looking men, likely lawyers, flooded out and away before his lawyer appeared.

'Hello, Kai,' said the lawyer cheerily as he approached the seated boy. 'Well, all went well, yes, just swell. Your relatives in America have agreed to take custody of you, so all we need to do is get you on the next plane to Boston. We have a law firm there too, so if you ever need any legal help, you know where to go. Isn't that swell? There's a taxi outside ready to take you to the airport, it's got your luggage in it already, just one bag, or so I was told. You like to travel light, eh? That's just swell. Oh, here's your ticket. Have a swell trip, won't you?'

'Yeah, just _swell_.'

Kai stood, took the ticket, glared at the lawyer and walked past him to the courthouse exit, also the entrance. As he walked through the large revolving doors the cold air hit him forcefully. The sky was overcast and the wind was out with a vengeance. This would be his last day in Russia, and what a day to see him off. He spotted his cab and got in, quickly sighting his duffel bag and grabbing it to make sure it didn't disappear.

'Go,' he told the driver gruffly. The taxi pulled away from the courthouse and began its journey to the Moscow airport, _Domodedovo_.

Kai felt a sad tugging feeling in his chest. He would be leaving behind everything he ever knew. His father and his mother would remain here, at least the memory of them, and he'd be gone, in Boston, alone with his grandfather and aunty. His parents had left everything they owned to him, their only child, but he had to wait until he turned eighteen, only a year away now, before he could access his inheritance and move back to Moscow, his home. I can wait, he told himself strongly.

'We're here, sir, the Domodedovo. Everything's been paid for. Do you know where to go?' asked the taxi driver as he pulled up to the airport kerb and looked over his shoulder.

'Yeah,' Kai said, getting out of the car holding only his duffel bag.

The taxi drove away and Kai walked alone into the airport which was crowded and noisy. He didn't really know where to go, but he had a fair idea. Just look for the sign that says flight to Boston, right? Kai spent the next ten minutes looking for said sign, and with it he found an elongated queue. He got in the queue and had been waiting for another ten minutes when a dishevelled man walked up to him and smiled a maniacal toothless smile.

'Harro! Whaz your name?!' slurred the man. To Kai's horror, the hobo farted and giggled in hysterics at the sound it made. Kai inched away from him but the man stepped closer and belched in his face. It smelt like fish and old socks.

Apart from an obvious lack of self-hygiene, there was definitely something not quite right upstairs with this odd fellow. Two security guards appeared quickly and escorted the tittering man away.

As he resumed his position in the line, Kai wondered if his grandfather, since the last time he had seen him, had become anything like the crazed man he'd just encountered. Quite an amusing thought thinking of Voltaire farting and giggling. Also quite a disturbing thought. What about Georgina? Whenever Kai's mother talked about her she always described his aunty as weird and a bit of a fruit basket. What went wrong in the gene pool?

'Next, please,' called an over-worked luggage checker. Kai walked over still thinking about a farting Voltaire. 'Where to, sir?'

'Boston, obviously…'

'Any luggage, sir?'

'Just this,' said Kai holding up his duffel bag.

'You'll be able to take that onboard, sir. Can I see your ticket, sir? Thank you. Okay, please make your way to the terminal now; your Gate is…23. Have a nice flight, sir.'

Monotony abounds, thought Kai.

Still haunted by the image of Voltaire giggling and farting, Kai made his way through security and into the terminal where he looked for Gate 23. 'Yeah, give me the one at the other end of the airport why don't you,' muttered Kai to himself. When he got there he sat himself in a chair and waited, for a long, long time.

'I hate airports…'

* * *

**A/N: **Originally this chapter was going to be some 5,000 words long, so be grateful that after much deliberation, I have chopped it up into snappy, bite-sized segments...sort of. I hope you guys leave me lots of lovely constructive criticism with a slight sprinkling of due praise! Cheers.


	2. Introductions and Tirades

**A/N: **For those of you who are reading this story and are either confounded by strange feelings of de ja vu, or just swear you've read this somewhere before, you're not mistaken! Alas, it's mentioned in my profile, but I most definitely should've thought to mention it here also: this is a re-posted story. I wrote it some time ago and readers quite enjoyed it, so I decided to take it away, re-vamp and beta-rise it myself in order to present to you a much improved, much loved story. It won't be exactly the same as the originally posted story, so please don't yawn and dismiss it as old material, because new scenes and chapters have been formulated and inserted at various intervals for your general reading pleasure.

(Thank-you to the reviewer who pointed out that they'd read the story before and had enjoyed it, but just hoped it was mine. Ha, it is. Cheers.)

May the chortles, smirks and light chuckles flow.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Beyblade.

* * *

Ch.2 – Introductions and Tirades

Welcome back to my reality. And what reality would that be, Kai? Do share. Why that would be me standing outside my grandfather's apartment door on the second floor at 7:00a.m on a crisp Sunday morn, fresh off the plane, waiting for someone to answer my knocking, which, at present, they are not.

Sighing, I cease the tapping and wait.

Strange and slightly unpleasant smells waft through the hallway and make their way into my nostrils and the need to gag is most definitely felt. I hear pipes rattling somewhere in the building, you know that kind of random rattle that makes you look up at the ceiling as though it's going to collapse on you? Yeah, that. Sigh. I can't believe the last living Hiwatari's occupy this dump. How sad. Then again, not much can be expected of my "dear" grandfather or the fruit box they call my aunty. Don't these people answer the door?

'Wǒ fā shì wǒ _ALWAYS_jǐn jìn yī qiè gōng zuò zài zhè lǐ! Bloody hái zi! Wǒ yào KICK nǐ chū qù!'

I turn slowly and eye the door behind me, more specifically, the thing coming out of the door, namely an old, squat Chinese woman yelling profanities at someone inside the apartment. She turns and apparently sees me because she begins shouting and pointing to the end of the hallway. I can't quite understand wether she's speaking English, Chinese, or even a human language for that matter. What? What do you want, old lady?

I decide to ignore her and knock on the door again, harder.

Come on, you old geezer! Open up. Oh finally! Yeah hello to you too, Stupid Old Man. No, I don't actually say that to his face. What do you take me for, an idiot? No, I say, 'Hn,' and walk past him. Yeah, yeah, respect your elders, blah, blah…I'm telling you, Voltaire is the exception.

Man, this place is tiny! I mean I know the house in Russia was small, but this! This shouldn't even be classed as occupiable by humans! Midgets, maybe, but not people six foot and over, like myself.

'Did you have a good trip, Kai?' asks my grandfather as he closes the door. He's speaking in a tight-lipped manner and forcing politeness, likely because my mum just died.

I ignore his question and instead glare at him for no reason other than to test just how much Power my Glower can have on him. To my pure delight he squirms under my gaze like a fat, pink worm. Hey, that's an excellent name for my "dearest grandfather": Worm. Heh, Stupid Voltaire Worm.

He clears his throat. 'Are you hungry?'

Straight to business I see. 'No.'

'You must be tired.' You reckon? 'You'll have to share a room with your aunty for now, Kai. Follow me.'

Oh great, living in the same room as my lunatic aunty am I?

I follow him down a short corridor to a wooden door on the left. He opens it and moves aside so that I can peer in.

Shudder...Is that a dead rat...? I dearly hope not… Mmmm, nice looking bed there. I just love sleeping on mattresses with bits of spring sticking out of them and suspicious stains covering their entirety. Judging by the unconcerned look on the Worm's face, I fear that I _am _in fact expected to sleep on that…thing. Oh look, there's another one, equally gross. That must be auntie's bed. At least mine isn't flea ridden…yet.

'Georgina won't be home till later on today. You can take that bed there and settle in. I'll let you rest for a bit and I'll call you when lunch's ready.'

Mmm, wonder what's for lunch? Deep fried rat served with a spicy flea sauce? Can't wait!

Noticing the homemade "DO NOT DISTURB" sign hanging on the open bedroom door; I perceive that perhaps Aunty Georgina might, at least in some way or form, be bothered by my "invading" her room.

This doesn't concern me as much as it probably should. I've grown rather fearless of late. Besides, she's only three years older than me, an age difference not worth taking note of. Last I heard she's getting around as a Grotesque Grunge Punk, according to my mother. She'll probably put a hex on me when she finds out I prefer my beds flea-less.

I quickly survey the room. Two dodgy beds, one rickety side table in between afore mentioned beds, one threadbare and stinky rug, and...Oh joy, a window. A window means the opportunity to breathe air, not this stale stuff that tastes oddly like mould.

I open the window and a big puff of fumes sweeps in. I close the window. Mould isn't that bad. Cheese lovers don't mind it in their cheese, right? I suppress a groan and flop onto my bed, with much disdain, mind you.

How I am going to live here and remain sane is beyond me. This bed hurts my back…My head hurts…I Hurt. Better sleep, or at least try to. If I can help it I don't want to be sleeping tonight with Georgina a few feet away. She might stab me in my sleep, or something of the sort.

I stare up at the ceiling. It has strange yellow and brown stains splattered across it. So do the walls for that matter, and the damn bed. I notice that the previously mentioned rug is brown; though I'm not sure it would've been that colour when it was first purchased some millennia ago. Did I mention this place stinks?

I was watching a documentary about restaurants once and they were filming a particularly vile kitchen in which, in every corner and even the blatant open, dwelt cockroaches, parasites and various other vermin. They decided to paint it, and they must have been either dead lazy or retarded, because they actually painted over a decomposing rat. That's right; they _painted over a decomposing rat. _Anyway, this dump reminds me of that restaurant kitchen. It's gross, disgusting and I wouldn't be surprised if I _did _find a painted-over decomposing rat.

How am I ever going to sleep, let alone _live_ in this place?!

* * *

'Kai, wake up, lunch is ready.'

I open my eyes quickly and look around, confused as to my whereabouts. Oh, I remember: The Dump, and the squirming Worm that lives in it.

I swing my legs off the bed and look up at the Worm who's standing in the doorway. He's a very tall and slightly rotund Worm. With legs. But a Worm nonetheless!

'Dad, why can't he sleep in your room? I'm a girl for goodness sake!'

I wince at the angry voice. That could only mean Georgina. I'm going to have to find a nickname for her also.

Sure enough, the fruit basket herself steps into the room and instead of glaring at her; I'm forced into a dumbfounded stare. Let me explain: Her hair is dyed black with a red streak down the middle and dozens of pink highlights, her face and somewhat harsh-to-the-eye features are smothered in white make-up, her lips are painted black, piercings everywhere, foul dark clothing that stinks even from where I'm sitting and a pair of dilapidated pink Chucks on her feet.

Call me sheltered, but this has got to be anyone's worst nightmare personified. I visibly shudder before commencing to glare at her, even though it's hurting my eyes to have them rested on her.

'What are you staring at, twerp?'

I can't help myself.

'Something ugly.'

Not to my surprise, she gapes at me with ogling eyes. What can I say? I'm a very honest person. I guess she doesn't like honest people though, because she looks awfully angry, a bit like a…Constipated Rhino? Ha, that's a good one, Kai…

'Kai! Apologize to your aunty right this second!' hisses Worm.

'I'm not the apologizing type, sorry,' I say, fully aware of the contradiction in my words. It confuses them and they stare at me in a slightly baffled manner. 'Whatever,' I mutter, before standing and walking to what looks to be the kitchen since there's a fridge in it, I think.

Something is boiling in a pot on the stove next to what I hope is just a grimy bench. I peer over the rim of the pot to see what's cooking, and immediately step back. No. I am not eating that. Never in a million years.

My stomach growls. But I'm hungry!

Seemingly having gathered his senses, Worm stalks down the short corridor to the kitchen and glares at me, followed closely by an also glaring Nutcase. Ah, something we have in common, the Hiwatari glare. I glare back at them, mine a little glarier than theirs. Ha, I spent the whole flight here practising my evil glare.

Worm leans forwards and points at me like a psycho. 'Kai, I'm not sure what you mother taught you, but in this house there _will_ be no disrespect!'

His words hit me in the gut.

I have to force myself not to put his lights out right here and now. How dare he talk about my mother like that? How dare he question her integrity or worth! I turn on my heel and stalk to the front door, angrily opening it and slamming it behind me. I pace the hallway with my eyes glued to the floor, trying to slow my raging breathing.

'Yo, you okay?'

I swing around to glare at a boy that is standing outside the door opposite mine, the one the old Chinese woman was swearing out of just hours ago. He looks to be about my age, has black hair and…is it just me, or does he look like a cat? Yes, yes he does.

'Helloooo? Anybody there?' he asks, waving a hand in front of my eyes. I snap my eyes at him.

'Get lost.'

'Yeah, well that could be a problem, see, since I live here. You look pretty peeved, everything alright?' He takes a step towards me and I take one back.

Man, can't be angry without someone sticking their nose in your face and trying to pick your mind. I growl and stalk along the hall, down the stairs and out of the building.

Outside on the street I realise I wouldn't fare any better in this foreign city than an old woman with dementia in a maze. So, after giving myself ten minutes of cool down time, in which I try to erase the past week from my memory, I slowly return to the apartment.

When inside I prowl to my roo- mine and Georgina's room, ignoring glares from Worm and Nutcase and trying to contain my thoughts. In our room I find my duffel bag and search through it for a book. Ah, here's one. Let's see...chapter thirty one? The book's near finished! Couldn't make it last a bit longer, could you, Kai?

I plonk down on the bed and proceed to read the remainder of the book, a cheap paperback I found at the airport. It's a rather boring novel, but if it keeps my mind off of thinking about the situation I find myself in, this horrible, humiliating situation, then I'll read anything.

Georgina comes into the room while I continue reading and kicks my bag aside as she makes her way to the bedside table. I stop reading and glare up at her. 'Mind?'

She pulls a retarded face at me and stops scrummaging through the table's drawer to deliver a suspiciously pre-planned tirade in my direction. 'Look, you stupid brat, since this is technically my room, I'm going to lay down some ground rules. Rule number 1, this is my side of the room,' she says, drawing an imaginary line down half of the room, 'and that is your side. Rule number 2, don't touch my stuff or I'll smash your pretty little face into a bloody little pulp.' I snort; I'd like see her try. 'Rule number 3, I like playing good music, and loud, so if it's "not to your taste", that's too bad, go tell someone who cares!'

With that she slams a CD in the stereo on the bedside table and blasts up the volume. As she had predicted, I absolutely abhor the music she listens to; some sort of emo, punk crap. Ears are too close to bleeding for comfort.

Oh, and who does she think she is bossing me around like she owns the whole world, huh? You know what; I'm not going to give the Reeking Sod the satisfaction of seeing my annoyance. I'll just ignore the noise she calls music, read my book and abide by her rules at my own leisure.

Half an hour later, I read the last word in the book and slam it shut and stuff it back in my bag, now battling a headache due to Georgina's "music".

Now I'm really hungry, but I absolutely refuse to eat that mush they call food. So where am I going to get something edible? Something edible and free seeing as I'm rather short of funds at the moment…

I get up and peer out the window; I dare not open it again. Hmm, what's going on in Boston today? Well, would you look at that? Looks like my first day here just got brighter. A food festival. Excellent. This means free samples, and if I eat enough of them it will count as a meal.

I grab a jacket and head for the hall. I don't tell the Worm that's lurking somewhere at the other end of the apartment that I'm leaving, I just warn my aunty, 'Don't touch my stuff, Georgina!' If she does I'll personally wreck her hair by bleaching it. Wreck or improve? Shaving it would be an improvement. Heh, heh.

Oh good, that cat boy's not out here anymore. Now I can enjoy my freedom until I am forced to return to The Dump and suffer under the glare of the Worm and the ramblings of the Nutcase. Yes, my new life, The Dump, the Worm and the Nutcase.

Now where's that food fiesta?

* * *

**A/N: **Please, don't all rush to review!

(-_-)

Oh, and the Chinese bit? Right at the start. Yeah, that's thanks to a really dodgy online translator, but I purposefully added in the English bits. It took me longer to do than it was worth...


	3. Munchies and Moodswings

**A/N: **This is merely a continuation of the last chapter, so no big plot leaps...yet.

I think someone reviewed my last chapter...Thank you, that person.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Beyblade.

Munchies and Mood-swings 

Okay, so far I've had five mini hot dogs, two bananas, an obscenely large marshmallow, three proudly American Baguettes and a piece of liquorice. This festival thing is awesome. Hey look, a doughnut stand. Let's go get filled up. Mmmm, doughnut-y goodness…drool...What's that doughnut lady looking at? These _are _free samples, no?

'Hey, it's you again!'

I spin around, doughnut in hand, to find the Stupid Cat Boy from the apartment waving at me. No peace around here! Sheesh! 'What do you want?'

He shrugs and falls in step beside me. 'Aw nothing, you just looked lonely. Hey are those doughnuts good?'

'...I wouldn't be eating it if it wasn't.'

He grins. 'This is true!'

Indeed. I keep walking, hoping that by ignoring him he will take a hint and step off.

'So, obviously you're new to Boston, huh? Good, I can show you the ropes. There's only one other kid in our apartment block my age and he's…well he's kind of a hermit!'

And I'm not? Go away! My goodness, he won't stop talking, ever. I shall be forced to endure his mindless chatter for an eternity.

'So are you going to go to school?'

Huh, school? 'I don't know.' I haven't really thought about school. 'I guess so.'

'Oh good, because if you do, you should come to mine. It's not the best of schools, but we get up to some cool stuff. Hey, there's my mum. Come, she'll buy us ice-cream!'

Ice-cream? Man, this guy acts his shoe size not his age! That's his mum? The swearing Chinese lady?! Nooooo! Stop dragging me, Cat Boy. I don't like your mum. She's scary.

'Hey, mama, this is our new neighbour!'

I look at her and she looks at me. 'You! I see you! You good boy. Quiet. No noise. Not like this one.' Could have guessed that one. 'Ray very stupid boy! Come, I buy ice-cream!'

I look at Ray and he smiles broadly. 'See, I told you she'd buy us ice-cream. Hey what's your name anyway?'

I eye him warily. Why should I tell you, huh? I don't even know you. Why would I divulge personal information to a weird cat boy with a crazy swearing Chinese mother?! 'It's Hiwatari, Kai Hiwatari.' Oh great, look what you did, stupid mouth! Why don't you just tell him your life story too, huh?!

'Cool! Hey, you must be Voltaire's kid?'

I snort. What product is Worm using to make himself look so young for people to think I'm his son? Or maybe I just look old. Like forty years old… Ew. 'I'm his grandkid.'

Ray looks puzzled. 'Then that would make Georgina your aunty, right? Since she's Voltaire's daughter…Wait, is she your mum?!'

I roll my eyes. 'Not unless she gave birth at three year's old, no.' Wait, this guy knows my entire family...! That's a bit strange… 'Voltaire was forty when his wife had Georgina. My mum was born twenty years earlier.'

'Whoa, confusing… So where's your mum? I haven't seen her.'

'She's dead.'

'Oh, I'm sorry. What about your dad?'

'I'm an orphan.'

'Gee, I'm sorry, man. That must've been hard…'

Hard? He has no idea.

Great, so now that this guy knows just about everything there is to know about me, I guess I should change the subject, or better yet, get lost. Then again, this Ray guy seems genuine. He's no faker. And he doesn't seem to care what other people think. I like that.

Ray's mum waddles up to us holding ice-creams. 'Here,' she says, shoving one in my face, 'Eat. Ray, don't make mess, I kill you. I just wash clothes!'

I take the ice-cream and look at it. Ray takes his and licks it. 'You better eat that, man. Don't want it melting all over you.'

I've never had ice-cream before. Coming from Russia, ice-cream to me is like a heater in Mexico. But it is quite a warm day, so I guess I'll try it. Ahhhh! Brain freeze! Okay, Kai, don't bite the thing, just lick it. Hmm, not bad.

'Like it?'

I shrug.

He grins. 'Ha, you can't not like ice-cream, so I'll take that as a yes. Excellent. Come on; let's go check out the rest of the stores. I want to score some free beef jerky!'

Oh boy…

* * *

'Kai, I want to talk to you.'

Great, just got back from the food festival, and now Worm wants to talk to me. The same Worm that earlier this day caused me to storm out of the Dump, I must remind you.

Gah, I'll have to eat the beef jerky later. Now, dear Worm, what is it that pesters you this lovely evening? Yes, you look mighty grim. Try the beef jerky, does wonders for the self esteem, somehow…

'Kai, I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I realize now that it must've been quite offensive to you and I regret saying it.'

What? Did my highly reliable ears just fail me? Is Voltaire apologizing? No, certainly not! But yes, I did hear the words "I'm sorry," which can only mean he's, well, sorry. Amazing…Ah, he's saying more. Listen up, trusty ears, for this only happens very rarely in one's life, getting apologized to by a Worm that is.

'I understand that you must miss your mother – your parents – greatly. I wasn't always there for you when you were a child, living in another country and what-not, but I'd like to make it up to you, Kai, Georgina and I both. I had a talk to her and she's agreed to at least attempt getting along with you. I don't want to scare you away on your first day here. I hope that we can have the relationship we never had, that of grandfather and grandson. I hope you understand, Kai?'

Um, okay, he's creeping me out now. I remember him coming to visit in Russia and he was never anything less than rude, obnoxious and a general disruption to mine and my mother's lives. What changed? What happened? Why is he sorry? It's not like he cared then, so why now? His own daughter and son-in-law died and he didn't even show for the funerals. Why does he want to be all dandy with me now? Unless he's like a pedo or something...shudder.

'Kai?'

'Yeah, whatever.'

His face visibly brightens. 'Well, now that that's over with, I'd like to talk about school. There's one just down the road, a good and proper school I've heard. I've already booked an appointment with the principal to evaluate the school for tomorrow. How do you feel about that?'

Sigh. 'Yeah, sure.'

School? Ergh, my luck never ends. School's mean people, and people in general are not what I need right now. I had friends at my old school, but we were more pals than reliable sources, if you're getting my drift. That was fine with me though. I've never really been close with anyone except my mother, but she was my mother, so she doesn't count. _Was _my mother.

That sounds strange.

'That's great, Kai. By the way, have you met Wyatt down the hall? He seems like a nice boy your age. Not like that Ray fellow, always in and out with his friends causing noise. Georgina's music I can handle but him and his friends doing who knows what in the hall really ticks me off!'

Ha, ha! Voltaire's ticked off by Ray! Now _that's _funny. Note to self: hang around with Ray to annoy Worm. Wyatt must be that hermit dude Ray was talking about. Second note to self: avoid Wyatt at all costs: Worm likes him. Mweheh. This information delights me to no end.

'Well, I'm glad we talked, Kai. Now, if you don't mind, I have to call a few colleagues of mine. I'll see you tomorrow, Kai.'

Colleagues? He works? This dump could've fooled me. Now, where's that beef jerky?

* * *

I lay in bed at night, staring at the gross ceiling, while Georgina sleeps hardly a metre away from me, snoring like the constipated rhino that she is. My first day in Boston has been nothing less than eventful. I've become reacquainted with a Worm who has mood-swings like a pre-menstrual woman, been introduced to my nutcase aunty, visited a food festival, had the pleasure of meeting Boston's most crazy Chinese lady and her cat-son, and I've also become accustomed to seeing faded yellow walls and suspiciously brown rugs. Such is my life.

My life that now consists of The Dump, The Worm and The Nutcase... and the swearing Chinese lady and Ray. May tomorrow exceed my despairingly low expectations. Until then, sayonara.

* * *

**A/N: **Sayonara from me too. Oh, and I'm not a review fiend, so please don't hesitate to leave even a small tid-bit of feedback, I seriously won't mind at all. :p


	4. Schools and Fools

**A/N: **Konichiwa, all. I actually quite like this chapter, hope you guys do too. Oh, and a quick shout out to _KonohaSinX Flame_ and _Crazy anime chick since 1993_, my reviewers. Thanks guys!

I should also mention that there are a couple of P.O.V changes in this chapter, but I respect you guys enough to let you figure out where they are. So no, I won't be sign-posting each and every little viewpoint change, why would I need to with such awesome readers as you?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Beyblade.

Schools and Fools

I did not sleep a wink last night. For several reasons. Reason 1: extreme back ache due to ugly bed; 2: endless traffic and random screaming from outside; 3: excruciating snoring from "aunty" Georgina; Reason 4: fear of being assassinated by "aunty" Georgina. Amongst other things, I've already learnt that Georgina hates being called "aunty", says it makes her feel old. So I've decided to call her Aunty Nutcase, it's got a nice ring to it I think.

'Kai, are you ready? We're going to see the school today, remember?' asks my Worm Grandfather from the kitchen.

Nah, I've forgotten in the span of ten hours, stupid… I hate that he talks to me as if he just picked me up from kindergarten. Do I look like a five-year-old? More importantly, do I act like one? Didn't think so, old man. Now where's my wallet? Somewhere in this stupid room… Ah, there you are, little fella. Yes, Worm, coming. Sorry, I can't slither around speedily on the floor like you, really, I truly am.

'ARGH!'

Aaaaaahahhhhh! Oh, just Georgina waking up. Sheesh, she nearly scared me half-to-death. Hmm, I wonder what would happen if you got scared-half-to-death twice? Would you die? Intriguing… Uh–oh, she's seems to have left her bed and- ugh! What is that hideous smell?! I mean, seriously, this place _must _have a shower and soap, surely. Why does she reek like she's been swimming in the sewers? No, she hasn't…has she? Head shake.

'Kai, some privacy wouldn't go astray, you know?'

Silence.

'What I mean to say is... GET OUT OF _MY _ROOM!'

Oh, so you wake up screaming, then you tell me to get out of the room like you own the place! Okay, so maybe you do own some of the place, but seriously. Lucky for you, Aunty, I've got to go anyway. Worm, I believe, is waiting for me in the kitchen, and by the smells of things I think he's eating breakfast, or some disgusting form of breakfast.

Before I leave the room I say, with a smirk on my face, 'No problem, I'm going, _aunty _Georgina.' Ha! Should've seen the look on her face. PRICELESS! So wish I had a camera. Nonetheless I will treasure that moment forever.

'Ah, there you are, Kai. Shall we go?' asks Voltaire when I reach the kitchen.

Yes, let's, Worm. 'Whatever…'

'Okay, but we'll have to catch the bus since I'm not fortunate enough to own a car myself.' Couldn't afford a decent house either, huh. 'Have you ever caught a bus before, Kai?'

What? No. 'Hn.'

'Uh...Is that a yes? Well that's good. You can buy my ticket for me then. The bus driver and I are not on good terms at the moment due to an unfortunate dilemma involving...Oh never mind. Here's the money.'

Oh you _would _be on the bus driver's bad side, wouldn't you, Worm?

Great. I don't know how to buy a stupid ticket! Why am _I_ even buying his ticket?! It's because he's a wimp, that's why. Ah man. I haven't even _been_in a bus before! We had no use for them in Russia because my mother owned a respectable car, not like el cheapo Worm. What ticket do I ask for? Do I ask for a ticket? Maybe I should just give him the money? Why am I stressing out over this? I can do this. It's just a stupid bus. The driver's probably an idiot anyway.

'Dad! Wait for me!' yells Georgina. Aw not her too! Why the heck it she coming? Wait, this is excellent, I can just make her buy the tickets for us! Oh, Kai, you're an under-appreciated genius. 'Where's my other shoe!?'

Eventually she appears from our room, hopping on one foot trying to fit the shoe onto her large foot. I'm not looking forward to actually being seen with Worm and Nutcase in public. I don't want to ruin a reputation I don't even have yet. I can just imagine what the school people will say, "Oh, did you see that Kai person? More importantly, did you see his creepy old grandfather and his crazy aunty? Kai must be like them!" Noooo! I'm not I swear! I am not a creepy crazy person! Yet.

Back to the present and my bus ticket scheme. Acting nonchalant and aloof, I place the money on the table next to where Georgina is struggling with her recovered shoe. 'For the bus,' I say flippantly.

'Can't but your own ticket, eh?'

I roll my eyes at her, betraying my true thought of "no". 'Why are you coming, anyway?'

She glares and pushes past me. 'None of your business, my _nephew_.'

She's so immature. And evil. And a nutcase. I can't believe I'm related to a freaky punk rocker and a slithering invertebrate. Where do I fit in the scheme of things? Ah, I must be what they call the "black sheep". The different one in the family. I hope.

'Hey, Twerp, are you coming or what? You gonna stand there all day with your silly little thoughts bouncing around in that stupid head of yours?'

I growl. Voltaire's little talk mustn't have worked, if he did talk to her at all.

We move out into the hallway, down the stairs and onto the street where we wait for the bus to come. When it does come, at least ten hours later by the way, Georgina buys our tickets and we get on. I move to the back of the bus and sit as far away as possible from "my family". Gosh I _love _my family. They're a _great _bunch.

...I hate them.

No, my mother wouldn't appreciate me hating her family. Let's just settle with strong dislike.

Speaking of my mother, her sister, Georgina, doesn't seem very disturbed by her death. _I_ miss her so much. Georgina acts like she never died. Voltaire too, come to think of it. Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet? I look over at my family half expecting them to break down crying. Keep dreaming, Kai.

--------------------

Jet grabs her sticks and runs out the door with and apple between her teeth. She yells out, between mouthfuls, 'Bye, Ma! Gonna be late to school!' With that she leaves the house behind and lopes down the street. As she turns the corner she sees the bus pull away from the curb. Sighing, she contemplates running after it, but decides not to and instead kicks the ground with the toe of her shoe and chucks her apple into someone's yard. She mutters angrily to herself as she sits down and shoves her earphones in, preparing to begin the tiresome task of waiting.

_Many moons later...or maybe just an hour or two...._

'Jetison Clifton!'

Jet grinds to a halt mid-step and turns slowly. 'Yes, Ms Yoistrovich?'

The evil ogre of a teacher strides up to the offending girl and crosses her arms angrily. 'Firstly, unroll those sleeves, Miss, and secondly, why are you late, Jetison?'

Jet suppresses a roll of her eyes and begrudgingly unrolls her sleeves while saying, 'I missed the bus, Ms.'

'Hmmm. Well you'd better get to class now, Jetison. You can be expecting a detention notice sometime today.'

Jet huffs and angrily stalks away, quickly rolling up her sleeves as soon as the Ogre is out of sight. _Why me?_

-----------------

We arrive at the school and laze around in the lobby for a while until we are met by the principal; a short, fat, balding man with an odd resemblance to Colonel Sanders. 'Hello!' he says, gaily. 'You must be young Kai! Welcome to our school. Care for a tour?'

This time I let my thoughts get the better of me. 'No.'

Worm steps out in front of me. 'Don't be silly, Kai, of course we would love a tour. You must be Mr. Dickenson? I've heard so much…'

Blah, blah, blah. Walk, walk, walk. Talk, talk, talk. Grrr…

Colonel Sanders takes us on the stupid tour and by the end of it I gather that the school is made up of a bunch of buildings, some toilets and a canteen. Why couldn't he have just told us that in the first place? Eventually we head back to the reception and Worm and Colonel Sanders rendezvous in his office, talking about whether to enrol me or not.

I sit in the reception while I wait for Colonel Sanders and Worm to cease their stupid chatter. Meanwhile, strange images of equally strange students pass by my eyes. They all look…strange. Americans.

Hello, what do we have here? Ah, a young lady being verbally assaulted by a senior lady teacher. How intriguing. Indeed… Ha! Jetison, what kind of a name is that anyway?

That teacher is really ticking me off with her frumpy voice. Jetison is stalking away, fuming. She doesn't know she's about to trip on that stack of papers. Should I tell her? Nah. I need some entertainment in this poor life of mine.

------------------

I _hate _that ogre! I'll smash her ugly little face in, and then we'll see who's giving out detentions like they're candy. Grrrr! When I get to class I swear I'm gonna - OOF! Ow! Who puts a stack of papers in the middle of the reception?!

I sit up and look for my drum sticks in a daze. There's one, I grab it. And the other one? I look up slowly to see some guy picking it up and looking at it. Nice hair, dude.

He holds the stick out to me. 'Drop something?' he drawls in a sarcastic manner.

I roll my eyes to detract from the blush gathering on my cheeks and take my stick before getting to my feet and dusting my pants off. I'm about to walk away, you know, to avoid an awkward situation and all, but then I decide to be nice and talk to him. I'm late for class anyway, so it won't kill me. Besides, he's kind of cute. 'I haven't seen you around here before. You new?'

'Hn. Tour of this stupid school...'

'Mmm, Dickenson insists on a tour for all new students. Don't worry; the school's not that bad. I mean it's as boring as a toilet cubicle in most of the classes, but if you do electives, things can get interesting. What's your name, anyway?'

He looks up at me with big, grey, piercing eyes. I feel like he's assessing my worthiness of his words. 'Kai, Kai Hiwatari.'

Interesting…What a peculiar accent. 'You're not from around here are you?'

'Russia.'

'Wow. Well, the name's Jet, by the way. Look, Kai, I've got to get to class, so I'll see you around, huh?'

'Hn.'

I'll take that as a yes. I turn on my heel and walk away. I can feel his eyes on my back.

----------------------

A girl just talked to me, the "Jetison" girl, to be precise. First impressions? Oh _you'd _like to know, wouldn't you? Very well, I shall tell you exactly what I think: she's weird, nosy and too outgoing with an underlying obnoxious streak. Aren't I a great judge of character?

Now where is that Worm? Slithered back into his hole, probably… Ah, there he is. Coming out of Colonel Sander's office looking all smug. What now?

'Kai, I've enrolled you into this school and you start on Monday!'

Goody…

Colonel Sanders steps forward and claps his hands gaily. 'Our school can't wait to have you as a student, Kai.' I bet they can't. 'Now as for your school uniform…'

Ack! Did I just hear the word "uniform" and "school" in the same sentence?! Surely not! Great, I'm about to become your stereotypical nerdacious student in a primpy uniform, buttoned up and fit to burst! I should've jumped in front of the bus this morning instead of getting in it.

'Now the uniform isn't as bad as you might be thinking it is.' Oh I am. 'We're fairly lenient anyway. Just some black pants, or a skirt if you're a girl, which you're obviously not, heh...uh, black shoes, white shirt and school blazer. Most personal accessories are fine too. We like our students to express their individual style.'

I'm sure you do…Hn, doesn't sound too bad. Don't get me wrong, life here is going to scar me, but oh well. I'm a walking wound emotionally speaking, right?

Just remember, Kai, one year, inheritance and then Russia. One year...one year...one bloody long year.

* * *

**A/N: **Apologies for the words I may have made up, I do that occasionally, but will try not to from here on. I just felt that those words helped me describe the situation better than any adjectives I don't happen to know of.

Keep the reviews rolling, guys! It's been great.


	5. Elected Suicide

**A/N: **Take a squiz and let me know what you think.

Thanks, reviewers.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Beyblade.

Elected Suicide

About two weeks have passed since we last met and you've caught me reuniting with the land of the conscious after a dreadful night's sleep. The first of my senses to react to my surroundings is, lucky me, my nose, which instantly detects the stale stench I've become used to. It is the foreboding of something far more tormenting, namely Georgina, with a hangover, also something that fails to surprise me.

I jump out of bed quickly when I hear her stirring and dash to the bathroom with some clothes. I slam the door shut just as she begins keening to the world. If there's one big lesson I've learnt so far, It's that I don't want to be there when Georgina fully regains her senses after a night of heavy drinking, or what senses she has left anyway.

This is what happens every morning here at the Hiwatari Dump: Nutcase wakes up screaming, I dart to the bathroom before the others to get ready for school, Worm slithers out of his hole and prepares a foul slop in the kitchen, Nutcase thankfully leaves, Worm catches the bus and Ray and Me ride to school on our bikes, mine courtesy of Georgina's old paper-run job. And when I get home in the afternoon, I spend the rest of the day calculating the time it will take me to run to the kitchen, grab a knife and successfully slit my wrists without being noticed. Of course I never follow through with this fantasy; all the knives here are so blunt you couldn't slice through butter with them.

Anyway, back to me in the bathroom. I don't have showers anymore. Bathroom is too dirty. Instead I get a bucket and a sponge and a bar of soap that smells like cough medicine and attempt to lead a normal, hygienic life. Of course this is hard with no lock on the bathroom door, which I have to lean on while I sponge bathe to prevent unwanted vermin from barging in, i.e. my relatives. After my attempt at hygiene, I put my uniform on, put my earphones in my ears and listen to nothing but ugly rock bands attempt music until I get outside and onto the street, where my bike is tied to a pole. I untie my bike while Ray comes outside and gets his bike, and without my permission, he rides beside me to school.

Now, to school. When I get home I don't remember much about school, my thoughts are mostly taken up with thinking of different ways to terminate my life. If I really think about it though, school isn't too bad. Generally if I listen to my music and glare at every living thing, the nagging students leave me alone.

Of course, much to my chagrin, I did need the assistance of those same intolerable students on my first day, when choosing my electives. I had no idea what half of them were… In Russia we didn't have these "electives", you see. So I, valiantly mind you, asked the homeroom scholars – the boys with far too much testosterone and the girls with busting shirts and short skirts – which electives I should choose.

'Electives, eh? Well, if you're the sporty type I suggest you do Physical Analysis!' says some guy named Michael. No, I'm not the sporty type, and I don't like you. I shake my head.

Bratty Tyson suggests Home Economics, as if. Max suggests Woodwork, what does he think I am, a carpenter?! Ray suggests something to do with Martial Arts, er, no thanks…I want to live. These imbeciles aren't helping at all! That freaky Kenny kid even suggested Forensic Science! Me, science?! I am the catalyst of all major explosions, so no.

The women suggest bloody cake decorating! What?!

And that's when a certain Russian group stride in, and spot me, and begin circling like hawks seeking to devour deceased prey. Scary.

'Hey,' says the apparent "leader", Tala, 'Hiwatari, right? What's going on?'

I mumble something about electives and look down at the sheet of choices I have, trying to ignore the Russians.

I can choose three electives from about a dozen. Choices, choices. Hmm…. My eyes scroll down the list. Boring, weird, boring, don't know what it is, assuming it's boring…

Tala moves closer. 'It all comes down to what you like to do and what you _would_ like to do. For example, I chose IT and Visual Communications because I'm good with computers and I like designing things. I also chose Art as a slack period.' All this from a creepy red-head.

Jet approaches the bench too to add her _much appreciated _comments. 'Hey, Kai. Yeah, we pretty much all use the same formula: one subject you like, one you'd like to like, and one you can do absolutely nothing in and not get told off.'

Thank you, so much, everybody, for your wonderful input, really, truly, it's great. Glare.

Sigh. Let's give this thing a try. Okay, so what do I like? …Nothing. Okay, not true, I really like popcorn, for some outrageous reason, but… Music maybe? I've always been good at the piano lessons my mum gave me, and I guess I sort of like them. I tick the box next to music and mentally pat myself on the back. Now, what else?

'Nice choice,' comments Bryan, the red-head's lavender-haired pal. 'I play guitar in music. We could use a drummer, and you look like one. Care to learn?'

No!

Jet punches Bryan in the arm. 'I'm a drummer, Bry.'

Bryan grimaces. 'You're a girl.'

The two continue bickering. Boring.

I shrug and looked at the sheet. Mmmhmm… Ah, photography. I've always liked taking photos in Russia, and I guess I would like to learn more about it… I tick photography. I look up at Tala warily. I need a slack, of course, can't work myself too hard. 'Art's a bludge?'

He nods. I tick. Easy.

I lean back in my chair and yawn. Everybody around me senses that I'm finished with them and leaves, all that is except for Tala, who sits at the desk next to mine. 'So,' he says, 'Want to meet us at lunch?'

I look bored as I glance over at him. You look like a serial killer, so no, not really… 'Is that an invitation?'

'More like an initiation. Be at the rocks behind the recording studio. See you there.'

He gets up and walks away. Weird guy. Then again, who am I to talk?

Well, I guess I need a group to exist with, I mean, I don't want to be gang-bashed as a loner or anything. Knowing me I'll make enemies. It'll be good to have some guys to fall back on. Then again, I don't want to be buddy-buddy. But they don't look like that type. I guess I'll go.

---------------------

'Ah, Kai, you're home,' says Worm as I enter the apartment.

No, silly, I'm at your vermin infested Dump.

'Oh great, the brat is home!' I hear Nutcase yell.

Go away, baboon feet. You smell like a hamster. You eat feces for breakfast. I HATE YOU!

I go to "our" room, ignoring Nutcase with all my willpower, and chuck my bag on the floor before heading straight outside again, down onto the street and to the local park. Anything to be away from the Dump and its inhabitants.

My "initiation" with Tala's group went well. Hardly an initiation. More like an interview with lots of stupid questions. Apparently I passed their little test and am apart of their group, meaning I rely on them, they rely on me, that's it. We don't have to be close friends, just people to be around to beat becoming a gang-targeted-loner. Only in America.

Soooo, back to reality and at the park. I'm contemplating jumping into that pond over their and attempting to drown myself. I've been quite suicidal lately. Maybe I should go see a therapist. And yet, the word "therapist" is made of the words "the" and "rapist", so I've just put myself off that option. I think I need a hobby.

Just what am I going to do with myself?

One year...one year...Sigh.

* * *

**A/N: **Indeedy. Bit random towards the end, but you guys love it...


	6. The Ugly Little Kitchen is Just Fine

**A/N: **This chapter makes me laugh hysterically every time I read it. Hope it does the same for you.

Thank you, my lovely reviewers. As thanks for your feedback I have formulated and polished this chapter, gift-wrapped it and all, just for you guys. Enjoy muchly!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Beyblade.

The Ugly Little Kitchen is Just FIne

Friday, last period, math, staring at clock, imagining great laser beams mutilating this school. Grr! Stupid teacher is talking about how Pythagoras theorem ties in with the work we're doing. I feel like dead-panning to the teacher, "We're never ever going to use this stuff in real life. Can I go home now?" And yet, my lips don't move. Ray is sitting next to me, apparently sleeping. Jetison is sitting on the other side of me, yawning uncontrollably. I'm stuck in the middle.

I stare at the minute hand of the clock. I don't think I've ever wanted to hear the bell so badly. It'll sound now…now…now…no-BIIIIIIINNG! (**A/N: **Bing?!) Yes! I love you so much, bell! Be my wife! I jump up, grab my books and-

'Mr. Hiwatari, where do you think you're going?' asks the teacher in an annoyingly calm voice.

I look around and everybody's sitting down. 'Home?'

'I'm keeping the whole class back, remember? For talking at the start. Five minutes. Sit back down.'

I plonk back down and Ray wakes up. 'Nooo! The sand won't move!' he groans. I stare at him.

Jet rubs her eyes and elbows me. 'You still coming tomorrow?'

I stare at her. 'Huh?'

'Movies, stupid…' she mutters and rubs her eyes again.

Oh, yeah… I kind of promised, stupidly, that I would go to the movies with Ray and Jet. I just wanted to get away from the Dump, Worm and the Nutcase at the time. Guess I still do though. I've just discovered Worm's nightly farting frenzies. I accidentally stumbled into his room last night and I hear "FFFFRRRRRTT" and then am submitted to a choking rotten egg smell. I then proceeded to stumble quickly out of his room and find my own. Only to have my eardrums nearly busted by Nutcase's snoring. Speaking of Worm farting, that reminds me of when I was at the airport and never thought I'd hear, see or smell Voltaire fart. Guess I was wrong. This thought makes me snigger…

'Kai? Hello? Where'd you go?' Jet's waving her hand in front of my face. I blink and look at her.

'Hn, yeah, yeah, still comin'…"

I don't know how, but somehow within this first week, me, Ray and Jet have become classroom sit-togethers. Ray and Jet were kind of friends before I came, but yeah… I hang around with the Russians at lunch and recess, Ray and Jet in classes. It works out. Ray and Jet have their own lunch/recess time group too.

The teacher checks her watch and taps her foot before looking up at the class. 'Okay, everybody, you can go now.'

I jump up once again, grab my books and walk away. Freedom. Now, where's that over cramped locker?

-------------------------------

'Kai, clean up the room!'

'No.'

'Kai! I swear I'll…'

'Georgina, stop yelling at Kai!'

'As if you don't, dad!'

'I don't!'

'Quiet, I'm trying to do homework…'

'Shut up, Kai!' they yell in unison.

I snort. Sheesh. 'Take a chill pill, ladies.'

'Kai!' roars Worm. Ha, lion worm. NOT. 'Go to your room!'

'I'm in my room, idiot…'

'Kai, I am sick of your insolence!'

'I'm sick of your ignorance, don't see me complaining, do you?'

He looks at me evenly. I think he's trying to think of some way to punish me, you know, taking away something which I don't have. Or… 'You're not allowed to go to the movies with your friends tomorrow.'

Well then, wasn't expecting that. 'How'd you know I was going out?'

'I heard you and that "Ray" boy talking about it yesterday. Too bad you can't go though. I'm sure they'll understand that you had to clean the kitchen, though.'

I glare. Stupid Worm…hate him so much. Would willingly kill him if it didn't involve a life sentence. 'Sure, grandfather, no problem! Would you like me to polish your shoes while I'm at it? Or maybe shine your rings, hm? Kiss your feet, maybe?'

'Enough, Kai! The kitchen must be cleaned and you can't go anywhere until it's done! Now then, I have to make some phone calls.'

I glare at his disappearing back as he slithers away. Then I hop off my bed and walk to the kitchen. There's a mountain of dishes a metre high, flies everywhere, cockroaches streaming out of packets in the pantry, grime covering the floor, and don't even get me started on the smell… This is going to take forever to clean! I really wanted to get out of the house tomorrow, and I know Jet will kill me if I don't come after I've told her I will, apparently she's a stickler for promise-keeping. Ray would nag me to no end as well... I check my watch. 5:25. Can I clean this kitchen by midnight so I can get a decent night's sleep? I guess only time will tell.

------------

It's 8:00 and I'm standing at the sink, water up to my elbows, washing the last of the dishes. Yellow rubber gloves protect my hands as I scrub the filth away. I've yet to even touch the pantry or floor or bench or stove!

Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut, Kai? Why? More importantly, WHY DIDN'T YOU CHOOSE FOSTER PARENTS?!

Anyhow, I had better move onto the pantry and…oh goodness...what…why…how…? How can two people be so damn DISGUSTING?! Rats, cockroaches, mice, fleas, flies, droppings, urine, moths, maggots and all other vile creatures have made this damn pantry their little home. Alright, there's no other solution. I have to do this or I will feel regret for the rest of my life.

I stride confidently into my room, grab Georgina's hairspray and my lighter – no I don't smoke, it's just handy to have – walk into the hallway, grab the fire extinguisher, walk back into the kitchen, put the fire extinguisher down, hold the hairspray in one hand and the lighter in the other. Now, I start spraying at the pantry, lots of spray…then I hold my lighter in front of me and…click! VWOOSH! The whole pantry bursts into flames. I hear the squeals of death. I wait until the high-pitched whine finishes, then I grab the fire extinguisher and quickly put out the flames before they spread. I survey my work. Okay, so the pantry is now a bit black and charred, but all the vermin are dead. That's the main thing.

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! 'KAI! WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?!'

I turn to view the steaming Worm. 'Oh nothing, Voltaire, don't worry about it. There was a little fire but I managed to put it out before the whole apartment burnt down. I saved our lives.'

He scratches his head, not sure wether to believe my little fib. 'Okay then…' He walks away. That's all I get for saving your life?! Geez, remind me not to warn you when you're about to suffocate on the smell of your own farts.

Well then, now that the pantry is…done…I can move onto more important things, like…the bench. Ever heard of a sponge, Worm!? Obviously not. Ah well, this random rag will do. I wet it and begin scrubbing down the bench.

FIVE HOURS LATER!!

Okay, only about half an hour…but still, long time. Bench is CLEAN! …But the rest of the ugly little kitchen isn't. So I guess I must get to it…Somebody KILL me! Get a grip of yourself, Kai, grab that offal covered rag and scrub that floor which makes you gag so!

Alright, alright, I'll spare you the gross bits, but let's just say that after about two hours and after a lot of slimy water, fluff balls, dead vermin, live vermin, vermin droppings…need I say more? Well anyway, after all of that, the ugly little kitchen has turned into a shiny little kitchen, a place where one would not fear eating. I sigh and put my hands behind my head, after having washed them thoroughly, mind you.

'Kai! You had better…whoa…where'd the kitchen go?' asks Georgina as she barges out of our room into the new and improved kitchen.

I can't help a smirk. Stupid Georgina, thought she could underestimate me? ME?! I think not. I pretend to act surprised. 'Ah, you can see it too? I never knew this Dump had a kitchen. Then again, I guess nobody ever had the guts to look for one under all the filth and like…'

She grins. Surprisingly. 'A KITCHEN!!'

Worm slithers out too. His eyes go exceedingly wide. His little wormy mouth opens and closes repeatedly. Where's a hungry bird when you need one?

'Kai, this is amazing…'

'Yes, let's keep it that way,' I say before leaving Worm and Nutcase to their wonderments.

Good riddance.

I leave the apartment and knock on Ray's door. 'Open up, Ray.'

'Gah! What you want?! Bang, bang! Feh, shut up!' grumbles Mrs. Kon as she answers the door. Gee she's short. I could pick her up easily. But I don't, I have a feeling she could effortlessly overpower me.

'Is Ray here?'

'Eh? Ray…uh…RAY! YOU HOME?!'

I cringe and back away. 'If he's not here it's okay-'

'RAY! YOUR NOISY FRIEND HERE!!'

'Look, lady, I don't think he's here-'

'RAY! I KILL YOU!'

'MAMA! I'M HOME!' yells Ray as he jogs out of his room. I sweat drop. He sees me. 'Oh hi, Kai! Been here long?'

I scratch my head. 'Sure feels like it.'

'Come in. Mama, go relax!'

'Ray, how can I be relax when you make mess, always hungry, food, food, feed me!? Eh!? I have to cook, cook, cook, always cook. Why you no cook?!'

'I can't cook, Mama!'

'What son I raise..?' mutters Mrs. Kon as she shuffles away.

Ray shrugs and grins. 'Never mind her, come in!'

I step inside and we go into Ray's room. I like his room, because it's clean. He shares it with his little brother and two little sisters, so there are two bunks. His siblings are playing on the floor. Ray tells them to go away, but they don't, they definitely don't when they see me.

'Ray, who's that?' asks one of his sisters.

'This is Kai.'

'Ray! Ray! Play with us!' says his other sister. I can't tell them apart.

Ray is arguing with his sisters when his little brother comes up to me and holds out his hand. 'Hello, I am Hui.'

I blink.

I shake his hand.

'Hey, Hui,' I say. He turns and goes back to the car he was playing with. I turn and see Ray trying to shake his sisters off his legs.

'Don't be rude, introduce yourselves!' he hisses. They drop off his legs like salted leeches and turn to me.

'I am Ju!'

'And I am Mu!'

'…That's really weird…'

'They're twins,' explains Ray. 'Now go away!'

Ju and Mu pout but stomp out of the room. Hui stays, but keeps to himself. 'How do you know which one's which?'

'We make Ju wear yellow and Mu wear orange.'

'They're colour coded?'

'Neat, huh? Anyway, I heard some banging before, what's going on?'

'Oh that…' I go on to explain to him how I cleaned out the kitchen so I could go with him and Jet to the movies tomorrow.

'Geez, slave labour much!'

'I know. I either did it tonight or did it tomorrow. I know Jet really wanted to go out tomorrow so I did it tonight. I'll do anything to get away from the "freaks". Even come here.'

Ray laughs.

'Ray,' says Hui. 'My car broke…'

I see Ray's eyes turn soft. 'Bring it here then.' He fiddles with it for a little and then suddenly it's fixed and rolls smoothly again.

'Thanks, Ray!'

Ray ruffles his hair. I indicate to Hui with my head. 'How old is he?'

'Five. He's small for a five-year-old. Mu and Ju are three, they're a handful.'

'RAY!!'

Me and Ray cringe. 'Yeah, mama?'

'TAKE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER OUT TOMORROW!!'

Ray glowers. 'BUT, MAMA, I'M GOING OUT WITH KAI AND JET TOMORROW!!'

'I NO CARE!! I BUSY TOMORROW, YOU TAKE OUT!'

Ray sighs. 'Fine…'

'WHAT?!'

'I SAID FINE!!'

'OKAY!'

I shake my head in amusement. 'She sure yells a lot.'

Ray eye rolls. 'You have no idea. Sorry, Kai, but it looks like the siblings are going to have to tag along.'

I shrug.

'RAY! HELP ME COOK!'

Ray looks like he's about to kill someone. I stand up. 'Looks like you're busy. I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Yeah, nice way to get out of helping…'

I snigger and leave.

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**A/N: **Haha...Oh, Mrs. Kon, how you make me chortle so. If you found this chapter slightly funny, hey, if you even had to suppress a smirk or two, let me know. I'd be delighted to munch on your reviews.


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